Taxing Taxis

Sometimes it can be a frustrating and lengthy ordeal to find an available cab in a major city. You stand by the side of the road, waving at taxis, only to find them occupied, or more frustrating, have them not even see you. But, Bangkok is the only city I have ever been in where the cabs actually hail you. It is a very odd dynamic.

As a tourist in this city, everywhere you go, tuk-tuk (tuk-tuk = three-wheeled motorbike with a covered seat attached to the back) drivers and tour guides are calling out to you, trying to sell you something. They usually start by asking where you are going, so they can make an outrageous offer to drive you to your destination. If you don't bite at the offer, they then ask where you are from, I guess in the hopes of getting a negotiation going. Some will just call out, "Taxi!" as you pass or honk their horns as they drive by. You can be a mile from the river, but someone will try to sell you a boat ride. I kept thinking, "If I am not at the pier, then I don't want a boat. And if I am not standing at the side of the road waving my arm, then I don't want a taxi." But this won't stop people from trying.

At first, I tried to be polite, shaking my head or saying, "No, thanks," but this just invites more questions and price quotes. Sometimes ignoring them doesn't work either. It can be very exhausting. After walking the city and fending off drivers for three solid hours, I began to take a different tact. If I was going to have to deal with this annoyance, I might as well have some fun.

When asked where I am going, I say, "Nowhere." Then when the follow-up question of, "Where are you from," is asked, I also respond with, "Nowhere." This ALWAYS gets a laugh from the other drivers that are hanging around. I guess they think it is funny to watch the competition get shut down.

The other one I have tried, which merely confuses the antagonist, is when they point to their vehicle and call out, "Taxi!" I simply respond with, "Yes, I know." [Thanks to Zucker, Zucker, and Abrahams for that one.]

I suspect taxis will factor into many of my stories about Bangkok.